Have you ever came across a moment where it just suddenly brings you to the past? The past that haunts you from time to time? Have you ever had a moment where although you have found happiness, little things can trigger those memories that you thought you have put behind you forever?
Well I have been having reminiscence on and off. It all begin when I started to watch various series to kill any free time I had. And the funny thing is, it is not the storyline that makes me think back, the songs are the one that have the upper hand in making my mind wander endlessly. This song reminded me partly of how I was.
I thought I've put on a rather firm mask on the outside but it seems like it wasn't enough.Repeatedly I tried and I did keep to my word but did you? I am not alone and I thought I had you right where I wanted you to be but it all seems to be in vain. It drove me terribly scary and it tore me apart. When I look into your eyes, I finally saw it. It pains me to the point where you have no idea. It just doesn't matter anymore when the the truth is set in motion. All that went on in my mind like a broken record player was since when did it start? How could it ended up like that? I thought we had it all in good condition. Did I reach for the sky I wonder, but why did I try so hard to bring it all together when in the end I know it's pointless seeing all the effort being washed down as quickly as how it came. I thought I could fight for it but I'm stuck on the ground. Indirectly you did asked me back but in a very open sort of way. How can I hold you to your words if you bailed? Is it too much to ask from you? I will tell you one last time and then I will really have to let you go. I could hardly look at you due to the fact that for every time I do, I somehow think that we could do it anyway. To think that I would never see those eyes again, it's so hard to prevent the tears from falling. It's not like we have any other choice but know that you are not alone. And yes as I've pointed it out, it was just what I thought we had.
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